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2019 Match Reports
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Nepotists v Great Missenden by Lukey
Sparrow. Sunday April 14
Nepotists v Ham & Petersham by Lukey
Sparrow. Sunday April 21
Nepotists v Barnes by Lukey
Sparrow. Sunday April 28
Nepotists v Holtwhites Trinibis by Lukey
Sparrow. Sunday May 5
Nepotists v Alexandra Park by Lukey
Sparrow. Sunday May 12
Nepotists v Kew by Lukey
Sparrow. Sunday May 19
Nepotists v Valley End by Lukey
Sparrow. Sunday May 26
Nepotists v The Cricketers Cricket Club by Lukey
Sparrow. Saturday June 1
Nepotists v Chingford - Match Summary.
Sunday June 9
Nepotists v Putney by Lukey Sparrow.
Sunday June 16
Nepotists v Shepperton by Lukey Sparrow.
Sunday June 23
Nepotists v Royal Household - Match
Summary.
Saturday June 29
Nepotists v Cowdrey by Lukey Sparrow.
Sunday July 7
Nepotists v Kempton - Match Summary.
Sunday July 21
Nepotists v Oxford Downs - Match
Summary.
Sunday July 28
Nepotists v Agricola - Match Summary.
Sunday August 4
Nepotists v Nevill Holt - Match Summary.
Saturday August 17
Nepotists v Post Modernists - Match
Summary.
Sunday August 18
Nepotists v Wembley - Match Summary.
Sunday August 25
Nepotists v Binfield - Match Summary.
Sunday September 1
Nepotists v Brentham - Match Summary.
Sunday September 8
Nepotists v Southgate Adelaide - Match
Summary.
Sunday September 15
Nepotists v Ickenham - Match Summary.
Sunday September 22
Nepotists v Great Missenden
Pelicans
Sunday April
14, 2019: 1.00pm.
40 Overs With anticipation and excitement for the season
opener against Great Missenden the highest it has been since our last
fixture of 2018 against Wembley, I honestly thought an early arrival by
all would mirror my enthusiasm. Sadly, as I walked to the middle to toss
the coin at 12.35pm, I was the only Nepo present. It wasn’t until the
coin fell to the lush Chilterns turf that the ‘Werren Express’
arrived giving some hope that we might just have enough to bat first. My endeavour to manipulate the result by asking
Captain Rich what he would prefer was met with the expected “I don’t
care really”, much like my opinion of a pitch that looked like it had no
play on it for 7 months and wasn’t overly keen to have that changed
anytime soon. Sadly, for the pitch, it was game day and surprisingly,
having eventually lost the toss, we were invited to bat on the very
green meadow, wedged between the Chilterns Mainline and Nags Head Pub,
on a bitterly cold day. Fresh from the Werren Express, debutants
Jake Torr (ENG) and James McQuin (ENG) (when
did the Nepos last open with two Englishmen??) were ushered into the
opening slots and did not hesitate making it into the Nepo record books,
Jake LBW for 0 off 7. With no Nepo scheduled at 3, both
Time Hardy (ENG) and Ali Baloch (PAK)
set to come in at four, a swift game of paper, rock, scissors saw
Time stroll to the middle after what would have easily
been given ‘Timed Out’ in any other league. Following in Jake’s
footsteps, Time too did not make 50, failing to trouble
the scorer after a prolonged 17 ball stint that saw the lacquer off the
new ball with the score at 2-17. Ali joined James and steadied
the rocky start sharing 48 runs off 10. They deserved a 50 from where we
were, as did James whom ran himself out for an
excellent 44 off 58. Rich Price (NZ) helped Ali
reach his 2nd highest score for the Nepos of 35 off 39 balls
before being disappointingly bowled off a ball that should have been hit
to Little Missenden. At 4-92 in the 23rd over, the Nepos were
not looking strong and needed a good partnership on the very low and
slow wicket. Before the game I asked Steve Werren
(AUS) which position he’d like to bat to which he confidently
replied, “I’d like to have a bat this year!” so he came in at 6 and with
Rich smashed 102 runs off just 11.2 overs. Just when
the Nepos were looking to race to 400 Steve was caught
for 26 off 36 including 4 boundaries and initiated the first Nepo
collapse of the season. Canyon Paul (ZIM) on debut
clicked 3 off 2 balls before being caught, the Nepos 6-204. Having
brought up his hundred, Rich was bowled for a match wining 105 off just
68 deliveries that included 10 fours and 5 sixes, with the score on 241.
I (AUS) was run out (appalling decision) going for an
easy 2nd on the very next delivery, with Kiso Kanth
(SL) cleaned up first cherry; the final of the inning
giving the hosts a team hattrick, the Nepos off for tea at 9-242. Self-anointed specialist fielder Rob
Jackson (AUS) wasn’t even dressed to come in, such was his
reliance on everyone else not getting out. Mind you, when Kiso
was bowled, he did look sheepishly around for at least one pad not
knowing the inning was over, but I spared him the distress and let him
go to tea, with Chetan Bhanot (IND) left not out with 6
off 11 on debut! A delightfully hot green chicken curry was just
the tummy warmer we needed on a frightfully chilly day the temperature
barely topping 8. Garnering 8.5 on the RichTea Scale, the samosas were
top shelf, the baguette fresh, and an actual cheese knife for the cheese
was unexpected and indeed unprecedented but spoken of with varied
excitement. Rice would have pushed the score to 9 but the additional
menu item may have been too much before bowling, evidenced by our quick
demolition of the Pelican’s top order. 1 – 14, 2 – 12, 3 – 18, 4 – 18, 5 – 20 after just 7 overs with Chetan ending a dazzling 4 over opening spell with 3 – 13 uphill into the wind, around the wicket! Our hosts put up some marginal resistance adding 48 for the 6th wicket before Rich added to his Championship points with the breakthrough. Having given everyone else that wanted a bowl, a bowl, I was left with Rich to get the 7th with the score on 89, and then dragged him after 3 before he could ‘mop up’.
Canyon resumed up-hill getting
two in two overs ending his day 2-20 off 5, leaving Ali to get the final
pole. The 10th Pelican was seemingly halfway back to the shed
before the ball even hit leg stump, such was the decisive manner in
which he jumped out of the way to end the inning at 113, the
Nepos home by a convincing 129, and another trip to the Chilterns next
week beckons! Well played Nepos!
Schwim Moment: Rich Price for smashing a 6 over the railway line and out of the Chilterns NACA: Paul Canyon for being caught taking several selfies at mid-off wearing his very stylish Nepo attire! Follow The Nepotists On: Instagram / Facebook / Twitter
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Nepotists v Ham & Petersham
Sunday April
21, 2019: 1.00pm.
40 Overs With Amersham cancelling our Easter Sunday fixture, an ad placed on Fixtures List had a reply within 15mins, Ham & Petersham offering a game on their home field. It had been awhile since we padded up against HP, but they are well placed in the Nepotist Annals. One of the last times we played HP, Bruce Jackson (AUS) amassed a Nepotist world record by smashing 30 runs in an over (6, 4, 4, 6, 4, 6) over Ham Common, a record of most boundaries in one over that still stands today, and something I hoped a Nepo would replicate today. Sadly, not! Looking at the grassy common with
non-discernible centre square one could not help but think this game
would be the definition of friendly, the battle simply taking place on
22 yards of mowed park land. As it happened, the HP captain highlighted
a potential problem; the pitch was only 20 yards. HP are a 200 years old
so how after 2 centuries of rolling, mowing and marking 22-yard pitches,
the groundsman decides 20 yards is enough, is another of the game’s
mysteries! The delay waiting for the pitch to be stretched
allowed time for late Nepos to arrive and having lost the toss and
invited to bowl, Chetan Bhanot (IND) appeared seconds
before the first ball was delivered on a pitch sloped dangerously toward
the very short boundary. Disappointingly Canyon Paul (ZIM)
failed to show, leaving 10 Nepos to chase the ball around the park. Two luckless opening spells by myself (3-0-19-0) and
Ilija Krunic (SRB) on debut helped HP crack 43 off
their first 6 overs. When Ryan Styles (AUS) replaced
Ilija the breakthrough and brakes came. Ryan
bowled tirelessly after his Paris marathon last week, though trundling
in off 15 paces for 7 overs is easy compared to 42.195km of Paris
suburbia. Though the figures do not show it, Ryan
bowled excellently through to drinks ending 7-2-20-2. John McCoy (ENG) on debut replaced me yet was dragged after 3 even though his first two
overs were a tight change. Coming back later to help ‘finish it off’
John claimed two in two and ended 4-0-22-2, his short
stint with the ball compensated by batting at 3. Mike ‘I won’t bowl, I may bowl, I won’t bowl, I will bowl’ Sheldon (AUS) replaced John and justified his uncertainty by taking
HP’s 3rd wicket in his first over. Another wicket with the
first ball of his 4th over saw HP crash from 1-82 to 4-82,
and the Nepos were looking the goods to restrict HP to a lowish score.
Mike delivered a maiden and then picked up his 3rd
in his 4th over and, when finishing the inning, claimed his 4th
in his 5th over with a stumping to Steve Werren (AUS)
to end the day 5.5-1-10-4 and the hosts fate. With the shortest run up in world cricket, debutant Rohan Maini (IND) with his right arm approach and left arm round the wicket bowled a tight but wicketless spell of 5-1-21-0, whereas Chetan replaced Ryan after the drinks break with a mixed spell that had one over concede 2 runs and another just 6, however the 3 in between had him dragged with 5-0-45-0 as HP moved to 166 off 30.
Captain Sparrow
NACA: John McCoy for scheduling his wedding during the cricket season, thus missing our August fixtures. Follow The Nepotists On: Instagram / Facebook / Twitter
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Nepotists v Barnes
Sunday April
28, 2019: 1.00pm.
40 Overs Heading into the game against Barnes one can’t
help but think of the term ‘world record’, most notably attached (for
those that don’t know) to Colin ‘Bomber’ Dale (AUS)
whom lost the unlosable match in 2014 as the Nepos set Barnes 342 to
win. With 2 overs to spare, Barnes won by 6 wickets. As a result, even
though we won the following year, the mood is clouded with wonder of
what’s going to happen this time. With Rich Price (NZ)
captaining, anything I suppose. Notwithstanding, by the time we took to
the field, there were already two changes to the starting eleven so it
was somewhat of a lottery as to whom will bowl or bat knowing we’d lost
a couple of our strike weapons! Losing the toss again, the Nepos were invited to
bowl with Mick McLoghlin (AUS) delivering the first
cherry, conceding just 3 in his first over of a tremendous spell that
ended 5-0-15-0. New Nepo Chandan Kapoor (IND),
replacing a late withdrawal, looked very slick getting the first wicket
at 31 and the 2nd at 46 during his spell of 6-0-30-2, keeping
Barnes in line. Dominic ‘New Jim’ Borger (AUS)
finally made his debut, after a healthy pre-match poo, replacing
Mick. It must have been generous umpiring or Dom needed another
dump for he looked in pain for the duration delivering balls way down
leg, far outside off, full tosses, and mid-pitch dross, all without
penalty. Incredibly, 'New Jim' was dragged after
5-1-21-1 including the prize wicket of the opener whom had 60 to his
name, and off he went for another use of the facilities with Barnes
3-99. John McCoy (SCO (TBC)) replaced
Chandan and probably wished he didn’t as he handed
Barnes 29 runs off 2 overs allowing Ali Baloch (PAK)
to come on earlier than expected and whom had immediate impact, thanks
to an outstanding catch at slip by Rich. A flash
outside off, the edge flew to Rich’s left on the rise.
Instinctively his left hand flew out and the ball magically stuck
resulting in Rich making more noise than he does when
someone drops a catch off his bowling. Barnes now 4-104; the Nepos
getting frequent crucial wickets to frustrate our hosts. Surprisingly, I was listed as 14th
man yet here I was setting a field to replace ‘New Jim’.
Bizarrely, the Nepos have a wealth of new talent to choose from
yet for the first three weeks we have been at least one Nepo short. I
did not expect to play today but packed the spikes
just in case and it was just as well. 45 mins later I’d rolled over
8-0-44-2. Rich took over from Ali and
too got amongst the wickets with 3-0-20-1. Between Rich
and I, Barnes went from 4-154 to 7-187 and there a chance we could
restrict them to an unexpected sub-200. With 5 overs to bowl, Mick
replaced Rich for 3 more and Chandan
replaced me for 2. Against one of the longest and strongest batting
line ups we have faced for some time, the last 5 overs went for just 19
runs, the last 3 overs conceding just 2 singles, 1 no-ball, and 4 byes,
with one wicket each to Mick ending 8-0-26-1 and
Chandan an exceptional 8-0-34-3. Barnes were restricted
to just 212 giving the Nepos a red-hot chance. With red-hot new-Nepo opener Jake
Johnstone (NZ) gripping porcelain instead of gripping willow,
Carl Hoar (ENG) opened with a very reluctant
Canyon Paul (ZIM), more keen to caress his wife than quick
singles. As Canyon didn’t bowl, coming in at #2 was
where he reached his highest score for the Nepos of 4. He did look good
for his 13 balls, he was just unlucky to be caught
the way he was. Nepos 1-24 and when it all went toes up unfortunately. Carl was bowled two overs later
for 23 off 24, the Nepos 2-30. Ali was given out LBW
first ball to an inside edge, Nepos now 3-30. New Jim
also hit his highest Nepo score of 4 from 9 before being
caught one-handed by a bloke falling over, Nepos 4-40. Rich
appeared to be batting like a captain who side was in trouble for his 8
ball 8 up until he too was caught one-handed by the same bloke falling
over yet again. At 5-46 the rest of the Nepo line up rushed
to pad-up all the while Canyon cuddled in the cold
with his wife under a blanket, none too plussed about proceedings now he was warmed up and ready to go! Jack Phelan (NZ) (whom took our
first catch of the season!) and John put on a
reasonable show for 6th before John
too was caught by the bastard that can’t stay on two feet while taking
catches for a determined 21 off 17. At least he was out by quality
bowling and fielding by comparison to his previous week’s embarrassment.
The Nepos at 6-74 were not looking likely to reach 100 save for
Jack’s patient 16 off 21 before another classic catch
saw him stroll off leaving the Nepos 7-84. At 8-85, our threatening opening bowler Chandan did little to threaten the scorer before being caught for 1 off 5, leaving Stevie Werren (AUS) to nudge, nurdle, and annoy the bowlers for 14 off 26 before he was castled with, “the only ball that was on the stumps” as Steve said in passing as I joined Mick as our last hope, 108 runs still to win, Nepos 9-105! Well, we gave it a good shake adding 51 runs off
10.3 overs with Mick excelling with 40 off just 39 before
being well caught (again) at long off, after mid-off ran 30m to
take the chance and end a miserable Nepo batting performance, all out 156 inside 34 overs! Yours in Nepotism, Captain Sparrow
Schwim Moment:
My 'reckless' 6 down the ground into the top of the new netting. Local
rules state that if you clear the net (now 4m higher than the previous),
you are OUT without any runs added. This is a means to curb potential
law suits from neighbours tired of balls crashing through the sun-roof
of their Mercedes 4matic!
NACA:
Canyon Paul for failing to show up last week, wearing a NACA-style head
wear during the NACA through which he left mid-way to call his wife, and being
more keen on cheering for his wife than cheering for the Nepos. Two
matches, two NACA's. Well played Canyon!
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Nepotists v Holtwhites Trinibis
Sunday May 5, 2019: 1.00pm.
40 Overs As far as replacement matches go, we may have
been better off staying home; no disrespect to our hosts Holtwhites
Trinibis whom came to our rescue following the cancellation of our
fixture against Ickenham, but it was a very timid game lasting just 42
overs. Come to think of it, it took longer for most Nepos to get to the
ground than the time we spent on the ground! After briefly winning the toss, our stand-in
captain Magic Mike Sheldon (AUS) officially lost the
toss as noted by the opposition skipper whom called heads and then
pointed out to Magic whom announced we would bat that it was not a tail! After doing
his best to manipulate our batting first based on Holtwhites' Captain
suggesting he'd prefer to bowl, we were ultimately invited to bowl, an
effort which lasted all of 26.1 overs Mick McLoghlin (AUS) opened
for a brief & tight spell of 5-2-8-1.
Ryan Styles (AUS) from the other, after winning the pink wig at
the end of his 1st over, eventually got the first wicket in
the 4th over, our hosts 1-13. Ryan dragged
after 5-2-13-1. As wickets fell, the bowling was rotated
to give as many Nepos as possible a go, something I like to encourage! Knowing not everyone is available every
week, it’s important to involve everyone where and when we can, so
well-done Magic! When all was washed up, it was only
Time Hardy (ENG) that failed to add his name to any
scoring column, with our specialist fielder Rob Jackson (AUS)
impressing upon his proxy-voting spectating father by taking a blinder
at point. Back to the bowling, I replaced Mick
for 5-1-10-2 while Mitchell Haag (AUS) on
debut replaced Ryan with a rather uncertain and
interesting start; his fist ball bouncing innumerable times before
rolling to a stop about 1m in front of the batsman whom duly thumped it
for 4. #GoodLuckEverybody There have been better first balls and better
first overs resulting in the bowler being dragged after 6-deliveries
before more damage could be done but Magic persisted,
and Mitch was duly rewarded for straightening and
lengthening up (sounds a bit promiscuous). After having a catch dropped,
Mitch claimed his first championship points ending
4-0-25-1. Time now for Brothers Maini (IND)
to bowl in tandem. Rohan replaced Mitch
for 4-2-4-1, whereas Rohit took over from me after
drinks for world record debut figures (TBC) of 3.1-2-4-4 to decimate our
hosts for just 75-runs in 26.1 overs. Not our most exhilarating bowling
effort and with Rohan, Rohit, and Mitch
all coming off very short run-ups, it was not our longest either. As
such, tea was postponed. Agreeing to bat for 15 overs, depending on the
state of play, Carl Hoar (ENG) opened with
Magic, whom was scheduled to come it at 11. As Magic didn’t bowl,
I suggested he open and though he tried to get out, he
didn’t! Neither did Carl. Together they clipped,
chipped, and caressed their way to 76 runs off 16 overs. Carl
ended 36 from 51, Magic 33 from 45, and for the first
time in my 20 years Nepo career we had tea after play, and that my
learned friends was absolute rubbish; the game, not tea though that did
only get 7! Well played Nepos, we remain at the top of the
Non-League League! Yours in Nepotism, Lukey Sparrow Schwim Moment: Rob Jackson's blinding (by comparison to all others) catch at point
NACA:
Magic Mike Sheldon for failing to sing the team song after play,
high-jacking the toss, saying "We have enough runs to play with" as
Holtwhites were 6-67, and for shit catching; having dropped one, he
took a catch wearing the pink wig and said "I never drop
catches"!
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Nepotists v Alexandra Park
Sunday May
12, 2019: 1.00pm.
40 Overs Follow The Nepotists On: Instagram / Facebook / Twitter It was a marvellous day! The sun was out, the field was lush, the bar was open, the Wi-Fi worked, we won the toss, and for the first time this season we had a full team, all of whom performed to pull off an outstanding victory after choosing to bat. Being rolled for just 106 in 35.1 overs was easily the worst element of the day, especially after being 0-37. Our ever-reliable and always punctual favourite London cabbie Carl Hoar (ENG) opened with dodgy curry connoisseur Jake Johnstone (NZ) on debut. Though it was tough start, thanks largely to a very long, thick, and un-cut outfield that restricted run flow, Carl & Jake set a great foundation for what should have been a 150+ score considering the slow field. Jake however succumbed in the 14th over, castled for 16 off 35 as he looked set to fire. Two overs later Carl was strolling back for an uncharacteristic 23 off 50. The Nepos were 2-45 with a runs score that did not change before Mitchell Haag (AUS), a reluctant number 3, was fired LBW for 1 from 10 and the famous Nepo collapse was rearing its ugly head. Nilesh Thacker (IND), after the trek Leicester and fresh from car-shopping for his wife’s birthday at Car Giant and not Tesla, was very un-Nilesh-like. Though clubbing 2 rare boundaries, he was stumped going for this 3rd and walked off for 9 off 18 with the Nepos 4-56. Ruthless run-up Rohan Maini (IND) gifted the keeper a silent catch on his 5th ball and learned a valuable Nepo lesson; ‘Do Not Walk’. Umpiring from the Jack Phelan Bedroom End, I was the only one on the field that did not hear the snick. Before I could say, ‘Not Out’, Rohan was halfway back to kit duties with the Nepos now 5-56 in the 22nd over. It was now up to seasoned Nepo Jai Thacker (IND) to support Rich Price (NZ) in his quest to correct the imbalance of runs v wickets. Though the pair put on a good 19, Jai top edged a sweep and was caught behind for what ultimately was a match winning 4 from 9, the score 6-74 in the 26th. Rich was joined by Ryan Styles (AUS) for another episode of the Ryan & Rich show, which was a disappointing flop when Rich had his furniture flopped for 16 off 36, reducing the Nepos to 7-84. Jack Phelan (NZ) whom lives just 300m from the club house and thus arrived in his pyjamas having woken up just 3mins earlier was, like most Nepos until they get out, looking solid until the opening bowlers returned to mop up and dispatched of Jack for 1 on his 7th ball. At 8-85 Steve Werren (AUS) swiftly came to the middle and left just as swiftly to help Rohan with the kit, caught from 4 without troubling the scorers, leaving myself to join Ryan at 9-100, with 7 overs still to face. 6 runs later Ryan was the latest batsman to achieve the near impossible by snicking a wide behind with 22 from 28 to top the strike-rates for what was largely a miserable day at the crease. After tea that gathered a 7.2 on the RichTea Scale thanks to the hot food being cold and sarnies being ‘bought in’, 2018 Nepotist of the Year Ryan delivered the first Kookaburra from the Jack Phelan Bedroom End and for one of the rare moments of his Nepo career, opened with a maiden and our hosts were already behind. Great start! I started from the other and delivered a non-threatening (apart from the verbal given to the batsman!) spell of 3-1-8-0, watching Ryan get the breakthrough to a clean catch at 2nd slip by Nilesh. APCC 1-8 in the 5th. Solid start Nepos. It looked set to get all pear-shaped with their number three going for the slog in some vain attempt to get the game over so we could all watch football. Not interested… in getting the game over with by losing! After #3 carted his 4th over for 20, Ryan dragged himself after 4-1-26-1. Rich replaced me and though opening with a maiden, rolled an unremarkable spell of 3-1-14-0 and was unpleasingly (as always) replaced by Jake. Rohan took over from Ryan and had immediate success castling the arrogant #3 for 33 off just 19 with our hosts to 2-42 in the 9th. Jake made it 3-69 in his 1st over and the Nepos were fighting back. Though hit for 14 off two overs Rohan persisted and made it 4-69 in his 4th over, while Jake picked up his 2nd in the next over, our hosts now 5-87, needing just 20. Rohan delivered a fascinating spell of 8-3-21-2, an outstanding fight-back after his first two overs, supported by Jake who opened his Nepo bowling account with 3-0-20-2. Enter Nilesh Thacker! One over 2-1. Two overs 2-1. Three overs 3-2. Four overs 4-3. Five overs 5-4. Game Over! APCC went from 4-87 to 5-87, 6-89, 7-89, 8-93, 9-99, 10-102 with the Nepos home by 4 runs, the game ending with an outstanding catch by Mitch in the covers. Diving low to his left, he scooped it up cleanly and threw it up decisively to join the Nepos in a wild mid-pitch celebration. It was the most breath-taking victory in recent memory. Everyone played a part, even Stevie Werren whom failed to score a point, his stumping denied by the plane-spotting umpire who plainly missed the batsman being 36,000 feet out of his ground to deny Steve his pointed contribution. This said, special mention must go to young Jai Thacker whom was trusted to keep the batsmen inline late in the inning. After going for 6 off his first over, his second over was an outstanding maiden that applied more pressure on our hosts whom finally choked to the death in the next for 102. Absolutely outstanding work Nepos, just simply remarkable. Bring on Kew. #GoodLuckEverybody Yours With Excited Nepotism, Lukey Sparrow Schwim Moment: Mitchell Haag's amazing catch in cover to end the game! NACA: Myself for fucking up the NACA voting so spectacularly. An unanimous vote after I wasn't even nominated. 'Cricket Related' I say! Follow The Nepotists On: Instagram / Facebook / Twitter
Nepotists v Kew
Sunday May 19, 2019: 1.00pm.
40 Overs Mick McLoghlin (AUS) joined Carl and took the score to three figures in no time at all. In fact, it was a single boundary yet alas at 102 Carl headed back to the shed with 47 off 74 after being fired LBW in the 24th. As I was only one of 4 Nepos present when the coin was tossed, knowing we were bowler heavy I decided to bat at 4 in lieu of bowling. In less that 5 overs Mick and I added 33 before Mick was well caught for 7 off 16 and walked off at 3-135, with an average of 55 at Kew having remained 48 not out in 2018! Rich Price (NZ) was in at his usual 5 looking to spank 4’s and 6’s around the short ground with fast outfield. This approach was no more prevalent than his being run out for 4 off 7, being too slow off the mark for a very rare, but nonetheless very easy quick single. 4-147 in the 31st. Mitch Haag (AUS) swaggered with confidence to the middle at 6, looking far more comfortable than he did last week at 3 on debut. That confidence saw him reach 12 off just 7 before a great diving catch had him swaggering off at 5-175 in the 34th, with the Nepos a long way from last year’s 312. Time Hardly (ENG) being knocked over 50 runs short of his latest half century making it 6-183 didn’t help us get too much closer. My getting out 9-runs later and 5-balls later didn’t help either. It was now left to Steve ‘I’ll bat this year if I get to the ground on time” Werren (AUS) and Ryan Styles (AUS) to see the Nepos through our 40 overs with an excellent 37-runs partnership, Steve taking red-ink with 15 off 12 and Ryan 22 off 12 including a giant six down the ground to see the Nepos to tea with what felt like a match-winning 7-229, especially after last week’s defence of 106! As Chandan Kapoor (IND) was one of two Nepos not to bat he was charged with taking control of our defence with the new Dukes Ball. Though Chandan went wicketless in his first over, Ryan got the breakthrough with his first ball with an LBW that was so plumb the batsman should have walked. Being an opening bat naturally he stood his ground remonstrating that it he hit it or pitched outside leg, or it was no-ball or some other nonsense trying to get the decision reversed, if ever that would happen! It didn’t and the Nepos were well underway chasing their 3rd straight victory, Kew 1-4. Ryan was dragged purely to give another bowler a go while there was still a chance to share some wickets and raised the ball after an excellent 5-1-16-3. Magic Mike Sheldon (AUS) took over from Ryan to give Kew a chance of bonus runs and off four overs gifted them 23. He did however also take the final wicket of the match and walked off 4-0-23-1, helping the Nepos to a solid 148-runs win. As Kew was one batsman short due to Jake breaking his finger during his innings, Mitch whom replaced Chandan only had the chance to roll over one over for 4 but I must say, he looked a lot less ‘uncertain’ with those 6 legal deliveries than he did at Holtwhites Trinibis two weeks back. See you all at end of the Valley next week! Yours in Nepotism, Schwim Moment: Chandan Kapoor's outstanding 5 wicket haul, with 4 bowled and one that would have had the bat not edged the ball to 1st slip! NACA: Rich Price for calling Carl's sister Tina, "Barbara" 3 times in 30seconds, after 5 years of watching Tina sit on the sidelines match by match. Follow The Nepotists On: Instagram / Facebook / Twitter
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Nepotists v Valley End
Sunday May 26, 2019: 1.30pm.
40 Overs Roly home with 4-0-48-2. After a tea of tea and cake knowing the savouries were saved for the after-play BBQ, Carl Hoar (ENG) walked to the middle with Nilesh and set about chasing our highest run total for the year, and got off the best start possible, hoiking the first ball over backward square for 6. Nepos away! In what was one of his more ‘struggled’ inning, after trying endlessly to get out by swinging and missing, Nilesh eventually gifted a simple catch when on 39. Though deserving, Carl and Nilesh failed to get the hundred, Nilesh gone after 55balls, the Nepos 1-97 in the 18th. In their process of success, they helped the Nepos to their 4th consecutive win, with number 5 looking good in 7-days; a pub team from Richmond next on the cards! Yours in Nepotism, Lukey Sparrow Schwim Moment: Carl's First ball 6. Easy! NACA: Magic for his series of failed endeavours and successful misdemeanours from the night before, best not published! Follow The Nepotists On: Instagram / Facebook / Twitter
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Nepotists v The Cricketers Cricket Club
Saturday June
1, 2019: 1.30pm.
40 Overs Chandan and Nilesh looked to balance the inning, but with some slow deliveries that failed to come on to the bat, both tried to get out but couldn’t time the catches, before Chandan finally played through a low bouncing grenade and was castled for 10, the Nepos now 5-31. A 41-runs partnership between Nilesh and Ryan gave the Nepos a red-hot chance of fighting our way through, but just as the belief was riding a crest, the crest of Nilesh’s stumps was taken off when he was 23 off 41, after taking the Nepos to 6-72. A 25-runs partnership between Ryan and Time Hardly (ENG) gave more false hope as they took the score to 97 before Time played a false shot to be caught for 4 from 11. Jai, sadly, didn’t trouble the scorers with the bat as well as he did with the ball, and after a solid 6 balls strolled off for 0, allowing myself to join Ryan with confidence of getting the job done.
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Nepotists v Chingford
Sunday June
9, 2019: 1.30pm.
Time Game
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Nepotists v Putney
Sunday June
16, 2019: 1.30pm.
40 Overs We played Putney last year as a late replacement
after the cancellation of our regular fixture. When our regular game was
re-fixtured this year, I was admittedly not too upset at not playing
Putney. Nothing against the lads, I simply could not be fingered dicking
around with the backwards and forwards of it all. Well, as it happened, Shepherd’s Bush cancelled,
and Putney was the only convenient fixture available when I went
looking. There were a few distant games, but I wanted to swap a local
game for a local game, so Putney was it. The other concern about this
game was Bomber Dale (AUS) being available, which meant only one thing.
More wickets for him bowling lollypops than any other bowler actually
trying to get a wicket! Knowing the effort required to get the game
started on time I tried getting the boys to Putney by 12.30pm but
failed. With stand in skipper Ryan Styles (AUS) still missing by the
time Putney wanted to throw the coin, I called heads, lost, and were
invited to field. If anything, at least we could keep all the kit in the
shed and only take over a new ball!! And a set of keeping pads. And
keeping gloves. And sweaters. And chairs. All which were forgotten,
requiring us to go backwards and forwards three times before the game
finally started at 1.40pm!! Following his excellent efforts with the new
ball this season, Chandan Kapoor (IND) opened down the ridge and up the
hill. Though he remained wicketless in his first 6 overs, Chandan
ultimately finished the inning rolling through a fine figures of
6.4-1-22-1. In his first match for 5 weeks, Ali Baloch (PAK) was given
the honours of opening from the other. With the pink wig doing its
rounds, Ali delivered a tight spell of 5-0-33-0 and was dragged to allow
debutant Matt Reed (AUS) to don the headband and introduce himself to
the Nepos, with a double spell of 5 overs and then 3. Taking over from Chandan, Nilesh Thacker (IND)
only conceded 5 per over but crucially finally got the breakthrough with
Putney on 86, plumb LBW and the Nepos were away. So too was Nilesh,
replaced by none other than Bomber. Before Bomber troubled the batsmen,
Reedy at the other end was troublesome and though also only going for 5,
was replaced without a deserved wicket. His return toward the end was
outstanding returning 2-15, Reedy finishing with a solid 8-0-49-2. Now as bad luck would have it for the batsmen,
when Bomber throws up his pies, the eyes widen and thoughts of 36 off
the over come to mind. Such thoughts only get you out as proved by the
opening bat who drilled Bomber’s 3rd ball down to debutant 12th
man Ben Katona (AUS) at long-on, and Bomber was away. 1 over bowled, 1
wicket. Unbelievable scenes with Putney now 2-123. Taking over from Reedy was young
Jai Thacker
(IND) in his final appearance for the Nepos this season. After losing
his way at Richmond, he bounced back with a spell that yielded another
brace and showing Bomber how to take an excellent caught & bowled.
Bomber’s 2nd over brought another batting error, the #5
plopping the pie into Ryan’s breadbasket at short mid-on.
Bomber 2 from
2, and then 3 from 5 with an amazing caught & bowled, giving
him 3-20. Jai continued until he was replaced with tidy figures of
5-0-42-2, replaced by Reedy to do his tail-end demolition. Credit where due of course, pies, lollypops or
otherwise, it was nonetheless an incredible 8 overs by Bomber. His last
over was his worst, conceding 11 but not before he snared his 4th,
the batsmen swinging wildly across the line to hit the ball to Putney
Bridge. He missed, Bomber hit and off he walked with 4-40 as Putney
strolled off 10-220 off 37.4 overs. Well Bowled! After what was a much better tea this year that
scored 6.5 Carl Hoar (ENG) took to the middle with
Nilesh to set the foundation for
a solid chase. After last year’s first ball quack, Carl could only
improve, and he did. Bowled for 8, and not before Nilesh snicked one
down leg to be caught for 2. Not a great start. Elevated to #3, Ali was hitting the ball sweetly
until he didn’t hit one and was bowled for 14 off 20 with the Nepos
3-28. This allowing Ryan to join Mick McLoghlin (AUS) whom was looking
to improve on his 2018 blob also. He didn’t, bowled for 0, Nepos 4-32.
After another stalwart bowling effort, Chandan steadied the chase with
Ryan adding 45 off 10, taking the Nepos to drinks 4-77.
Ryan pepped
Chandan during the break, “Don’t do anything silly, don’t get out, we
can do this!” Three balls later Chandan walked off for 17 off
32, and Ryan looked up in disbelief. Whether that was
Chandan’s
dismissal or seeing Bomber walk to the middle or both! The Nepos now
5-77 with not a lot of known trust left in the shed. To his credit
again, no matter how dodgy Bomber looks with the bat, he stuck around
for a 26-runs partnership with Ryan in which Ryan scored 26 on his way
to his 3rd consecutive half century. Looking to lose the
ball, he clipped the ball onto his pad that bounced onto stumps, the
Nepos 6-103. Ryan walked off with a superb 53 off 50 as
Jai joined
Bomber. I don’t know whom was supposed to play the
dominant role, but it was academic when Jai was knocked over for 0 on
his first ball, bringing our designated specialist fielder Rob ‘I can’t
bat’ Jackson (AUS) to the middle. Surprisingly, Rob was outstanding
belting two fours through mid-wicket and when his swipe to leg sailed
over the line for 6, he cheered loudly! That pleasure got the better of
him as the next ball took off his bails for 15 off 20 after adding 21
runs with Bomber. Debutant Reedy strolled in, the flowing ginger
locks tied back and hanging proudly from his lime green and magenta
helmet and did not let the side down. Instead, showed that next week he
should batter higher. 3 fours, 1 six, and 11 balls later, Reedy was on
his way home for 18 after giving the Nepos are cracking good shot of
pulling off the win. At 9-145, the Nepos chance of batting out 40
overs against Putney for the first time was left up to Bomber and young
Kahuna (AUS / POL), chosen to bat after our elevated 12th man
Ben didn’t want to!! With 27 balls to survive they did remarkably well
to play out 26. Bomber squeezing the ball to third man, I admit
selfishness by telling Kahuna to try and get two as I wanted him to end not out. Confusion mid-pitch saw Kahuna and
Bomber
running to the same end, before Kahuna turned back to the bowler’s end.
Diving for the line, he was run out by a small but big enough margin and
that was the ball game. Kahuna out for 1 off an admirable 14 balls,
Bomber not out 6 off a remarkable 52. The Nepos dismissed for 154,
handing our hosts a 66 runs win. Well played Nepos! See you in Shepperton next
week where this is a clubhouse on the field, power, internet, a bar, and
everything you need during a game of cricket! Yours in Nepotism, Lukey Sparrow NACA: Jai Thacker for wearing a white jacket with two black lines running diagonally across the front, which made it look like he'd been run over by a scooter! Follow The Nepotists On: Instagram / Facebook / Twitter
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Nepotists v Shepperton
Sunday June
23, 2019: 1.30pm.
40 Overs As I arrived at Shepperton CC to defend the
‘Holgate Trophy’ my mind cast back to the spiteful end of last year’s
game that resulted in the trophy simply being handed over by the tea
lady in passing instead of the usual speech and ceremony. It suggested
Shepperton was more than happy to see us leave, which suggested doubt
for this year’s fixture, which was confirmed by the silence following my
consistent asking for a rematch. A change of fixtures secretary in
February however brought confirmation of the match and 11 Nepos fronted
for the 39th showing. When asking for the Shepperton team to input
into our online score program, there were only 4 names I didn’t have to
change from last year. If the fixtures secretary didn’t know about last
year, seven team changes suggested many players did, or perhaps I’m just
paranoid. With the guy at first slip mouthing off since ball 1 and
threatening to go home if his moaning was not taken seriously, I braced
myself for an inning of aggro. Admittedly, I was riled early. After a nonsense
comment about my taking photos whilst umpiring I walked to square leg,
shaking my head, saying, “here we go again!” I wanted to bite but only
bit my tongue and let the twat carry on like a dickhead as deemed fit.
If I thought we’d done anything untoward to piss him off, that thought
was deleted as I accepted the many apologies on behalf of his teammates
after we retained the trophy, defending a solid 216, and not by my
choice. Losing the toss and being asked to bat was a
pleasant surprise. Notwithstanding we only had 4 Nepos so it was easily
determined that Carl Hoar (ENG) would open with
Matt Reed (AUS), and a great partnership that was. They carded
63 before Reedy played over the top of a straight,
slow, looping dolly and was castled for an impressive 28 off 52. Less
impressive was John McCoy (ENG) whom absorbed 11 balls
for his scratchy 5 and walked off with the Nepos 2-76.
Carl was on his way to yet
another hundred until he was stumped for 65 off 82, leaving the field
with the Nepos 3-133 in the 30th. Cue the famous Nepo
collapse. James McQuin (ENG) looked as good as I
remember the last time we played together at Great Missenden, until he
too was stumped 4 balls later after compiling a solid 26 off 33 at
4-234. Kahuna (AUS/POL) came and went, bowled by the
ball of the over for 0 off 4, Nepos 5-136. Having arrived late,
Nilesh Thacker (IND) must have been rushed to prepare but
didn’t rush off at 6-138 with 2 from 6. Enter Nepo of the Moment,
Ryan Styles (AUS). In a rich vein of form with 3 consecutive 50’s,
Ryan set about stopping the flow of wickets and
replacing them with runs. With Rohan Maini (IND)
playing the perfect foil at the other end and whom stoically ended with
red-ink 19 off 26, Ryan smashed his way around
Shepperton before being caught in the deep trying to bring up another
50. Walking off with 48 from just 28, Nilesh honourably
offered Ryan his 2 to give Ryan his
much-deserved half ton, with the Nepos 7-205. Refusing to bat in lieu of watching world cup
cricket, Kiso Kanth (SL) was dragged from the bar and
ran to the middle where he got muddled with Rohan and
subsequently ran off, run out for 0 without facing a ball and without
missing one ball of the cricket on the telly. An unimpressed
Steve Werren (AUS) strolled in and strolled back for 1 off 1,
as the Nepos went to tea 7 – 216, a score when 5 down seemed very out of
reach. For the first time in my tenure as Nepo skipper,
following the on-field ‘chirping’ I ushered the lads into the shed for a
pre-inning chat to say, “React to nothing! Let any verbal interaction
with the batsmen go through to the keeper, any overturned appeal to pass
quietly without question. In short, do not fuel any fire and we will go
away the better!” I believe we did, by 52-runs! Using 8 bowlers, it was only Kiso that had a
double spell of 3 & 3, otherwise a solid rotation gave the Nepos another
good win. Opening with Reedy with success on the 2nd
ball to signal the demise, he was rested after 4-0-11-1. Ryan
opened from the other with yet another luckless 5-0-14-0. Kiso
replaced Reedy and later Rohan with a
superb 6-0-33-3. John bowled a spell he wished he
didn’t, which included a consistent 12 wides in his 4-0-27-0, before
being replaced by Rohan, whom once again kept it tight
and secure with 8-1-33-1. Nilesh took over from
Kiso after his first spell, to deliver an outstanding 8-2-21-2
and relinquish the ball to James for an under-bowled
3-0-8-2. With more than 70 to win off just 5 overs, it
was time to give Kahuna the ball to improve his
abilities and he did not let the Nepos down. Though going for 12 off his
first over, he proudly secured his first Nepo wicket in his 2nd with a
beautiful line and length delivery that went under the bat and took out
middle stump and walked off as the youngest Nepotist wicket taker at 14
years & 20 days. Now if I thought being handed the trophy last
year by the tea-lady, this year there wasn’t even a trophy. It wasn’t
seen nor spoken of and we all went home. I for one wondering if we would
ever play Shepperton again, the future discussed with a number of
high-raking Nepos in the days after. It was decided to persist and
maintain a positive approach for the sake of losing a 38-year fixture,
and hopefully the bad elements of the last two years would no longer be
selected! I would rather that if it meant not ever seeing the trophy
again! Well played Nepos! See you at Windsor Castle
next week! Yours in Nepotism, Lukey Sparrow NACA: Kiso for refusing to go into bat because he wanted to watch cricket instead! Follow The Nepotists On: Instagram / Facebook / Twitter Back To The Top ---------------------------------------------------------------
Nepotists v Royal Household
Saturday June
29, 2019: 2:00pm.
Time Game Scorecard: Here Teas: £152 from £180 NACA: Lukey Sparrow for knowing the width of a bee's penis; telling the batsman he needed to take his guard a "bee's penis" toward to him! Cricket related!! Follow The Nepotists On: Instagram / Facebook / Twitter
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Nepotists v Cowdrey
Sunday July 7, 2019: 1.30pm.
40 Overs
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Nepotists v Kempton
Sunday July 21, 2019: 1.00pm.
40 Overs
Nepotists v Oxford Downs
Sunday July 28, 2019: 2.00pm.
Time
Nepotists v Agricola
Sunday August
4, 2019: 1.30pm.
40 Overs
Nepotists v Little Missenden
Sunday August
11, 2019: 1.00pm.
40 Overs
Nepotists v Nevill Holt
Saturday
August 18, 2019: 12.00pm.
Time
Nepotists v Post Modernists
Sunday August
19, 2019: 12.00pm.
40 Overs
Nepotists v Wembley
Sunday August
25, 2019: 1.00pm.
Time
Nepotists v Binfield
Sunday
September 1, 2019: 1.00pm.
40 Overs
Nepotists v Brentham
Sunday
September 8, 2019: 1.00pm.
40 Overs
Nepotists v Southgate Adelaide
Sunday
September 15, 2019: 1.00pm.
35 Overs
Nepotists v Ickenham
Sunday
September 22, 2019: 1.00pm.
35 Overs
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